I got an email forwarded to me by my wife this week. It was a Groupon for a LA Kings hockey game that included a hot dog, 5 dollar credit voucher, and a soda. If I’d gotten this, oh let’s say a year go, I would’ve trashed that email and put her on a list of people whose emails I don’t open. Unfortunately, it’s not a year ago, it’s Oct. 21st 2011 and we have no NBA.
The NBA for me symbolizes a lot of things. It’s the first sporting event I went to with a pastor when my father had left my house, it’s the first sport that I thought I could be half-decent at, it’s the sport that I fell in love with. How can you not fall in love with the NBA?! The last second shot for the win, the personalities of its superstars. No other professional sports can give you this! Well, maybe wrestling but my wife doesn’t let me watch wrestling anymore.
And like my wife, the NBA players and NBA owners have taken basketball away from me. Not because basketball is “violent, sexually demeaning, or fake” but because of greed. In the words of the poets the Wu Tang Clan, the NBA has fallen under the chant of “Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M., get the money, dollar, dollar, bill ya’ll.” While the NBA players and its owners throw out complicated words like “B.R.I”, revenue sharing, Amnesty Clause, and Mid-Level Exception – it all comes down to “C.R.E.A.M.” The players want more money and the owners want to keep more money. So what the hell am I supposed do with this type of dilemma? I’ve tried earnestly to pray to grown up Jesus, when that didn’t seem to work but make it worse, I’ve turned to praying to baby Jesus. Who can say no to a baby?! The images that baby Jesus bring up: warm, Christmas lights, presents, and happiness. Shouldn’t that been enough to get a deal done? Is baby Jesus not enough to get Derek Fisher and David Stern to hug one another and say “truce.”
The idea of calling peace however is tough when millionaires and billionaires are fighting over whether they have enough money to put “food on their tables.” I’m not even going to start talking about whether I have enough money to put food on my table. I just make soup out of fermented vegetables, throw some pork slices in there and bam, there’s dinner. It’s called being creative and I think that’s the one key that’s missing out of these NBA labor negotiations.
Creativity can take people a long way, especially in dealing with splitting up profits. Take for example my man, Jason Biggs from American Pie. He see’s a dilemma, he doesn’t do what traditionalist would do, he does something creative. Now I’m not saying that David Stern and Derek Fisher should start getting warm apple pies and fooling around in it; I’m saying that the apple pie is warm enough for both of them and that they need to start eating it before it’s gone.
Does no one in the NBA, both players and owners not understand? We, the fans, our money, our discretionary income, the apple pie; we will leave their asses if they don’t get it together!!! Especially people in la la land. We want winners, if you don’t win, we forget about you. Don’t believe me, check out the stats for how many people went to Dodger games this past season. And no, the majority of people not going has nothing to do with security or Frank McCourt. It had to do with their record. Win big in LA and LA will support and love you like you’re Megan Fox from the first 2 Transformer movies. Start complaining about how many lines you have and we’ll dump you for that British chick in that new Transformers movie.
Billy Hunter, the executive director of the players union said, “If somebody wants to point a gun at my head, I’m going to point one back at him.” He’s clearly missing the point, (pun intended). The point is not to see who has the bigger gun, missile, bazooka, or hand grenades and see who calls chicken first. The point is to realize that they are crushing the greatest movement of momentum that the NBA has had since Jordan’s last ring. We were captivated last year with the “Dream Team” of the Miami Heat, Phil Jackson’s “Last Stand”, and the great German, “Dirk Nowitzki” ,winning his first ring. These types of momentum doesn’t last long, just look at any baseball stadium that starts out doing the “wave.” After a few rounds the wave just dies and it looks like that’s what’s going to happen to the wave of the NBA.
I am in no mood to not have the NBA. Los Angeles doesn’t even have football to look forward to! This leaves me then with one choice, hockey. From the little amounts of research I’ve done I have come to a conclusion that the LA Kings fit my criteria of why I would support them. 1) They are primed to have a great run at the Stanley Cup. 2) They fulfill the ‘gang’ culture of Los Angeles with their team colors of black and silver. Lastly, 3), I can enjoy watching them ‘alive’ or at home. Don’t believe me, last night I stopped watching the World Series so I could see if the LA Kings would pull out a win against the Phoenix Coyotes. They did and after watching that game, I care more about the goalie of the Kings then I do about, “Who will be the starting point guard for the LA Lakers?”
See that’s where the NBA is in trouble. A diehard NBA fan like me is starting to not care about who will start at one of the most pivotal positions for my local NBA team. I care more now whether the goalie whose last name is “Quick” can pull out a shutout against the Anaheim Ducks.
This all leads back now to the Groupon email that my wife sent me. I replied back happily “Yes go get it” and guess what, it sold out. No joke. It sold out in a matter of 20 minutes.
Nice knowing you NBA.
Poet Wu Tang Clan??? LoL!!!! ROFL!!!